Following this deceptively simple rule will give you the key to great touch: The hand that is giving the touch should feel just as good (or better) than the body part receiving the touch. In other words, the “giver” should be in pleasure along with the “receiver.” Think about this—it’s quite a concept. The next time you give pleasurable touch to a person, think about your fingertips. Are they enjoying themselves? How could they be enjoying this experience even more?
As the “giver,” you will find that you can really enjoy this role. You’ll find new ways to touch that will open up the experience for both of you. This simple practice will transform sensual touch for you. It even works when the “giver” and the “receiver” is the same person. Try it. Above all, this is fun, so be light and playful.
As the “receiver,” you should concentrate on the touch you are receiving. Breathe into the quality of the touch to such a degree that your “giver” can actually feel you receiving. Don’t be afraid to make yummy sounds as a form of communication, too.
The key to fabulous touch is to remember that the fingers of the “giver” should feel just as good or better than the body parts of the “receiver.” This ensures that both of you are having a great time.
The Blindfold Game
This is a great way to practice giving and receiving wonderful touch. You can improve your ability to give and receive each time you play and have a lot of fun, too. Take turns playing each role, possibly on different nights so that each of you really gets to honor and participate fully in the role you take. Set this game up as a ritual that will last for an evening.
Prepare the bedchamber with soft lights, candles, some incense, drinks, and anything else that you may need to be comfortable. You’ll also need a blindfold of some sort. Gather a piece of velvet, a few rose petals, a soft makeup brush, the fresh end of a bamboo frond, a fringed scarf, a piece of fur, chocolate sauce, ice cubes, and anything else you can think of that might produce a sensual, erotic, but different kind of a feel. You may want to have some good-quality massage oil on hand, too, for a massage at the end of your exploration game.
Decide who will go first, then blindfold the person receiving and lay him or her down. As you treat the “receiver” to the sensual experience see if he or she can tell what you are using. Try the different modalities on different parts of the body, seeing which areas are more sensitive than others. Remember the varying dynamics of the erogenous zones and use this knowledge to its fullest potential.
You should encourage your partner to breathe deeply and relax. Encourage him or her to give you feedback and to make sounds of pleasure that he or she is feeling. Encourage and delight all the senses you can possibly bring into this love session.
The Sensual Bath
The sensual bath is another way to honor touch as an art form and to practice giving quality touch. You can either take the bath together or separately, but remember that the point is to give and receive the best touch possible. Create the sensual setting by using candles, music, scents, and even rose petals in the bath water.
Wash your lover’s feet lovingly. Massage his shoulders while he reclines. Give him sips of fruit juice or wine. Present him with a warmed towel upon emerging from the bath. Gently towel dry him, and anoint him with a light oil or lotion when he is dry. Brush his hair thoroughly and sensually. Tell him that you love him and repeat it often. Now, switch places—it’s your turn.
▲ The art of the bath
The Bath in Ancient India
The bath was an important part of the day’s ritual during the time of the Kama Sutra. Great attention was given to the skin, teeth, hair, and general body. The hands and feet of women were often perfumed and painted with henna designs. Men shaved and shampooed every second or third day, but bathed (or dipped into water) every day. They also used limited amounts of perfumes. The Kama Sutra makes reference to cleansing the armpits and oiling the body every other day, as well.
Women, especially in the harems, bathed together. Along with handmaidens, they helped each other bathe, shampoo, brush and braid their hair, dress, paint henna, and embellish their bodies. It was a time of social interaction, too. Water has always held an important part in the culture of India. It is revered and thought to be holy.